Happy now?

I'm completely feeble minded, torn from the bone, and finally on lock down. What is keeping me bounded is the way I'm getting treated and my privates thoughts that are constantly weakening my soul and mind. I'm risking my life by making sacrifices. It's hard because I'm not helping myself at all through the process. The crying is over in my life but the pain is hurting my soul and I'm growing more inferior to people. I hate the way I sometimes feel inside. I can't even show what I'm feeling because it's too much of a hustle to my heart. I can explain it though... My tongue sometimes get a feeling of bursting out the truth. My heart sometimes get the feeling of coming out and confronting people with my anger. My life sometimes get the feeling of isolation. What is wrong? My soul is weakening from it all. Some people I want to blame for it but I can't because I don't like to blame people. There's one person that I do want to confront and tell them congratulations for winning the award of weakening my soul by emotionally abusing me. She's a woman and I believe she doesn't deserve any respect from me but I still give respect because I'm generous. In my dream I wished I could back five years from now but I can't. I'm now left at the edge of cliff thinking about jumping but I still oppose of it because I got a sweet life ahead of me. One thing I want to say is, I'm going to move on with my life and forget about the overwhelming, overbearing abuse I had to go through just to get to this point of life. Life is better for me, I'm completely emotionally sick from abuse. I will ask the question to the person that did abuse me if she is happy now? I love her but don't want to have anything to do with her. She can get a life for all I care.